How to Get The Most Out of Therapy

As a therapist, I hear this question often: "How can I make sure I'm doing therapy 'right'?"

The truth is, there's no single perfect way to be a client. But I can tell you exactly what separates those who feel "stuck" from those who experience true, meaningful growth and start achieving their next level-up.

Therapy isn't just a weekly appointment, it's a collaborative journey. Your therapist provides the map and the strategies, but you are the hero leading the quest.

Here are my top three therapist-approved strategies for maximizing your therapeutic outcome and getting the most out of every session.

1. Embrace Courageous Vulnerability (Tell the Whole Story)

Your session is your safe space—your judgment-free Pokémon Center—but it only works if you're willing to step out of the tall grass.

• Bring the "Ugly" Stuff: We often feel shame or fear about discussing our most difficult feelings, thoughts, or actions. But these are the very things we need to examine to understand your "debuffs." If you find yourself hesitating to say something, that’s usually the most important thing to say.

• Be Present, Not Performative: Therapy is not about giving the "right" answers or pleasing your therapist. If you had a terrible week and didn't use any of the coping skills we discussed, don't hide it. We learn more from understanding why a strategy failed than we do from a week where everything went perfectly.

• Talk About Our Relationship: If you feel bored, frustrated, misunderstood, or even if you love the way a session went, tell me! Our relationship in the room is a miniature version of how you relate to the world. Discussing how we interact is incredibly powerful work.

2. Commit to the “Training Montage” (Practice Outside the Room)

If you wanted to train for a marathon, you wouldn't only run for 50 minutes once a week, then sit on the couch for the other six days. Therapy is no different! The real transformation happens when you apply the insights and skills we discuss to your real-life environment.

• Embrace the "Homework": Whether I ask you to journal for five minutes, try a new breathing exercise, or simply observe a specific pattern of behavior, commit to it. These assignments are small, structured ways to build new neural pathways.

• It’s Not Always “Hard Work”: Sometimes the assignment is something gentle, like setting aside five minutes for a hobby or reaching out to a friend. These acts of self-care are just as crucial to your healing as facing a core trauma.

3. Trust the Process 

Therapy is not a one-session quick fix or a cheat code; it is an excavation of patterns that may have taken years to form. Meaningful change takes time.

• Define Success Broadly: Don't measure progress only by massive, instantaneous shifts. Measure it by the small victories: recognizing a pattern, pausing before reacting, feeling slightly less anxious than last month. Those small steps are how you accrue experience points toward a bigger level-up.

• Expect Resistance: At some point, you may feel worse before you feel better, or you might hit a plateau. This is normal! It often means we are close to hitting a significant breakthrough. Stick with it and talk to your therapist about the feeling of being stuck.

• Remember the "Why": Take a moment to remember what inspired you to roll for initiative in the first place. Hold onto that commitment to yourself, and know that your therapist is cheering you on through every battle.

Ready to maximize your journey? Your willingness to show up, be honest, and practice between sessions is the foundation of getting the most out of your therapy quest.